Tragic Goodbye Tropes

People can never literally be together forever. It's presumably the same in media. Even in stories where two may be physically bound (such as by chains) or metaphysically bound (such as with "voices in your head" or imaginary friends), there will usually be one moment where there is a dramatic goodbye. It could be for a death scene or otherwise, but saying goodbye to someone you care about holds an innate element of tragedy to the point where, even when you know you'll see them again, it still feels bittersweet.

There are a few ways you can create an appropriately tragic setting for any goodbye scene, the first and foremost being giving it a sense of permanence. With no hope for ever seeing another person again or for any form of resurrection or afterlife if it's death, it greatly heightens the sense of significance of a goodbye scene. Another common method is to alter traditional patterns of speech for one or both characters via extra stuttering, labored breathing, or differences in diction or syntax (i.e. a verbose character reduced to few or no words). Time of day or season often works to add an extra element to goodbye scenes, as twilight and autumn are ideal to signify good things ending and fading into the cold and dark. Rain is also an appropriate weather condition to use, particularly when the media of the story is visual. In fact, any of these setting suggestions would work amazingly with creative and appropriate mood lighting and perspective.

Part of what kicks us in the gut most about goodbyes is the prior knowledge of the relationship the characters held. Typically, the amount of time you spend learning and caring for the characters' bond with one another is directly proportional to the emotional punch of a goodbye. After all, it's a lot harder on a person (or character) to permanently leave a best friend or loved one than it is to permanently leave a waiter who served them for all of twenty minutes at Denny's. Because everyone has to say goodbye to people they love eventually, the amount of empathy generally rises astronomically when the audience is fully aware of the relationship these characters held.

There are multiple ways to add layers to death or goodbye scenes -- even ways to turn them into comedy -- but I won't cover them at this time. The tragic cover of rainy twilight skies in autumn still veil me.

~ Dream

Cursing in Media

People swear. It's just a fact. But some people swear more in certain instances than others, and it can be used to convey different effects in real life and in media depending on the word and its usage. While some people with uptight childhoods claim that cursing is indecent and should never be tolerated, it's my personal belief as a writer that all words are fair game in constructing sentences and scenarios. With appropriate timing, character, and audience, swearing can be used to good effect, add seriousness (or silliness) to a work, and more.

Here are a few of my tips:

1. In works generally curse-free, you can swear for emphasis. When a character finally understands how royally dead they are or jams their toe REALLY hard in a doorway, a simple "darn" may not suffice.
   
2. Give foul mouths to appropriate characters. Sometimes it's just more realistic that way. Truck drivers, marines, or perhaps just really angry people are ideal targets. Alternatively, giving foul mouths to surprising character types can make for amusing comedic sequences. After all, who would expect a babysitter or an "innocent" elderly lady to rattle off curse words every sentence?
   
3. Cluster curse words sparingly. Using them for every other word throughout a piece's entirety makes them lose their impact and, for some people, may become hard on the eyes. I recommend only stringing together several in one of two situations: when a non-cursing character gets angry and means business, or to some comedic effect. Even then, be careful to keep it brief -- you don't want them to lose their power by stretching them out too long.

Of course, there are a number of situations where I wouldn't recommend any form of curse word that people may find unacceptable. For instance, works that are made with young audiences in mind. I know that this sounds like it should be intuitive, but Kung Fu Panda received a lot of flack from some parents I know for using the phrase "I sucked." I didn't think it was that bad, as it aptly and effectively described what the character thought of his earlier kung fu performance, but words like suck, crap, hell, and even boob are borderline swear words. Some people consider their usage vulgar and you always risk losing your audience if you include them in words made for kids; that being said, I say that unless cursing or borderline-cursing is absolutely necessary, it should be left out of any work to maintain a wider possible audience.

Ultimately, swearing can be a powerful tool. It relies on precise timing -- and very precise characterization -- but when used effectively, it can bring a whole new level of oomph to (almost) any work.

Teacher Tropes

Today in PreCalculus I started writing this blog instead of doing my homework. This is not because I'm slacking; rather, it's because the teacher who normally has the assignment on the board since the beginning of class decided to wait to give it at the end. Math is fairly intuitive to me and I always try to finish the assigned homework before class ends so when I get home, I can work on more difficult or time-consuming activities. Naturally, I'm a little annoyed at this (hopefully temporary) change, but at the same time, I understand her motives. She rarely gets engaged by the students in the class. Then again, that's part of the difficulty in being a teacher -- dealing with students who don't care about the lesson, or at least seem not to care due to not paying attention while the teacher is talking (even if they're doing something productive like homework). I don't blame her decision, even if I detest the feeling of idleness that overtakes me when I can't complete a task in the time I feel obligated to complete it in.

This incident made me think of teacher tropes. If a show centers around a kid between five and eighteen years of age, chances are some (if not all) episodes will take place at the school, and there will certainly be at least one occasion where the student and teacher characters interact. The principal and lunch ladies (who, for some reason, are always female) can appear as characters as well, but they certainly appear less often than the teachers do.

I've found surprisingly few examples of teachers with one-dimensional personalities in media. Still, you can divide teachers in shows into a few categories.

1. The Sadist. Who isn't familiar with this character, especially from school-centered comedies? They give F's and tons of homework and generally abuse their power over the students. Occasionally their behavior crosses the border from jerkish to downright antagonistic.
   
2. The Bore. I'm sure that at some point in your school experience, you've had at least one of these. Their voice is an endless and relentless monotone so that it takes intense amounts of willpower to not fall asleep while listening to them.
   
3. The Cuckoo. Something in their manner or logic is weird or wild and you just have to wonder what the principal was thinking in hiring them. This can be mixed to some degree with other teacher tropes.
   
4. The Parental. These are the teachers a character can tell just about anything to. Oftentimes they're smart and kind and would maybe even go out of their way to help a student.
   
5. The Shy One. While their proficiency as a teacher can vary, the shy ones are often kind and want the best for their students. They are often pushovers and may take student abuse in the form of spitballs or insults.
   
6. The Tough Lover. These teachers can be sarcastic and tend to believe that lessons are sometimes best learned the hard way. They'll give a student motivation when they're down, but always lets the student find their own way through their problems in the hope that they become stronger.

While I believe teachers in media are often played way over the top, I can't complain about their lack of development because many of them do, actually, get real motivations or reasons behind their character. Anyone who's ever watched Fairly OddParents has seen Mr. Crocker, a sadist teacher type who always tries to catch the main character's fairies -- but he's turned out so badly due to said main character messing with his childhood and ruining his life in a time machine. Mrs. Jewels from Sideways Stories from Wayside School was raised by circus performers, justifying her wild behavior and questionable logic.

If you want more examples of two- or even three-dimensional teacher characters, I highly recommend you check out Ned's Declassified. Not only is the show hysterical and helpful, but the teachers are among the most colorful I've ever seen. They managed to justify the bore teacher type. That takes talent.

Teachers can make fascinating characters. You deal with them for a solid first third or so of your lifetime, so naturally they have a large impact on the way your life can be directed. Can they be exaggerated in media? Most definitely. But if you give them the proper motivation, your teacher characters can be just as awesomely eccentric and interesting as those that set good examples today.

~ Dreamnorn

Happy Birthday... in Comedy!

The other day, I received an invitation to a friend's sweet sixteen. It was a grand invite, giving its recipients the tiniest tentative peek at the larger than life festivities to come. When I then remembered I had a blog post to write, I spent a long time attempting to think of material, but my thoughts were preoccupied on parties with grandeur beyond my imagination.

It then occurred to me to write about birthdays in comedy -- or, more accurately, the lack thereof. Stories that are comedic in nature rarely address birthdays, and even if they do, you never "see" a character age. For example, Garfield is a few decades old, but he literally doesn't appear or behave any differently (even if Jim Davis' art style has evolved since the beginning). Calvin from Calvin and Hobbes literally goes through ten summers and school years while never growing an inch and always ending up back in first grade with Susie Derkins. Does that make their universe inhabited by midgets who never improve past first grade to the point where re-taking it indefinitely is their only option? Of course not. What it means is that the writer is sticking to the concept that status quo is God and that nothing about the setup must ever be changed. Ever. Forever.

While I understand their motives for this, I don't understand why there's practically never a scenario in long-running comedic series that involves a birthday party. In find that depressing because there is so much comedic fodder to be found. Funny stuff happens at birthday parties all the time -- things the host expects, things no one expects, but things that are most assuredly hilarious when played right. It doesn't even have to be a main character's birthday -- it could be any.

Here are a few ideas, all stemming from the key concept that something must go wrong!

1. Chaos with the cake!
2. Swinging from streamers!
3. Bombarding balloons!
4. Dancing disaster!
5. Gift-giving goof-ups!

Seriously, though, you could go nuts.

Playing Sick

So, the reason this post is late is because I've been sick this past week, specifically with this head cold that's been going around Southern California lately. This has made accomplishing anything besides mindlessly leveling up Pokemon extremely difficult. On the bright side, it did give me a creative idea for a nice short blog so I can keep up to my weekly updating schedule -- the trope of playing sick.

Anyone who's ever read Calvin and Hobbes must have seen this scenario, but this is fairly common. A character, usually in elementary school, wants to take a break from it all. They decide to fake exaggerated symptoms in an effort for their parent(s) or guardian(s) to realize that they would much rather stay home and rest. This is inevitably doomed to fail in comedy -- and why wouldn't it? If a kid were to try it in real life, the typical parental response would be to check the child's symptoms for themselves. Upon discovering that they aren't serious (or completely nonexistent), they'll tell their kid that they're fine and should go anyway.

Of course, when you're a kid and trying this, it probably isn't so funny for you -- but when it's a fictional character, the situation becomes amusing. Still, sometimes I find it tiring seeing a rehash of the same situation over and over again. As much as I love Calvin and Hobbes, I personally think this situation gets old after a while.

If you're inclined to throw in a "playing sick" scenario, sticking to the play-by-play isn't so bad, but I might want to shake things up a little. Here are a few ideas:

1. Make the character legitimately sick. Have their parent(s) or guardian(s) not believe them and send them to school. This could work well in both drama and in comedy and can be played to either effect.
   
2. Have the character fake symptoms with effort. I remember seeing an episode of a show once where, in an attempt to play sick, the character drinks hot faucet water to fool the thermometer and pinches her cheeks to make her appear flushed, and sprays decongestant up her nose to have it run. Naturally, she gets caught in the act, but it was entertaining to watch her go to such extremes to stay home from school.
   
3. Let the character succeed. Either the adult is successfully fooled or decides to play along with their intentions. Should this happen, the adult should endeavor to make their child treat it like a real sick day -- feed them nothing but soup, force them to stay in bed for hours, etc.
   
4. Should the character succeed, let the class do something fun. When the character returns to school in the next day or so, they'll discover that the class did something they would have loved to do while he or she was out. Nothing like karma to spice up a comedic scenario!

~ Dreamnorn

Mary Sues (and How to Avoid Them)

"Mary Sues (and Gary Stus) ... are essentially characters who have no weaknesses or flaws in their universe. I say 'in their universe' because, while the characters in-universe (perhaps reluctantly) accept that they're flawless, we can see that they're actually annoying, whiny, self-centered, melodramatic, and a lot of other unkind adjectives."

I apologize for reusing the quote I used last week, but otherwise I wouldn't have known where to begin. As an aspiring writer, I have a particular hatred for Mary Sues. Many of us have written these characters unintentionally and have unwittingly let them corrupt what might otherwise be good writing.

The common trait Mary Sues possess is their uncanny level of "perfection" in what they are assigned to be in their stories. However, like evil ice cream flavors from Hell, Mary Sues have a variety of personas they can take, such as...

1. The Common Sue. These are the good guy Sues, the heroines, the main characters. They're beautiful, smart, funny, have lots of friends, have guys pining over them, and other such traits. It's basically the same thing if they're a Gary Stu, only gender-reversed. If the Common Sue has any problem it's that they can't deal with their perfection and may go on long angst rants over their gorgeous figures, millions of friends, and hundreds of admirers. After all, who says being perfect is easy?
2. The Godly Sue. These are the "chosen ones" of their stories and also often take on the main character role. They usually possess most (if not all) traits of Common Sues, but these are given the added bonus of possessing otherworldly powers or natural abilities beyond those of their peers (provided their peers have powers to begin with) that make them nigh invincible.
3. The PMS Sue. These Sues have all the traits of Common Sues, but instead of having infinite patience, they have none. As their name implies, they're always PMSing. Anyone who gets in her way is easily a goner, she thinks the boys who all adore her are pains, and she'll rebel just to show that she's a badass and is willing to flaunt it.
4. The Not-Sue Sue. These are what happen when the author tries so hard not to make a Sue that they create a character whose perfection is fired in the opposite direction. These have no positive attributes whatsoever. They're remorseless. They're dishonest. They're so ugly their mother wouldn't even love them, but then again they've probably already murdered her so that doesn't matter. They're so perfectly flawed that they fall into a Sue category all their own.

I remember reading from a certain author once that "there's nothing more boring than a perfect hero[ine]." They've basically nailed it there. "Perfect" characters, regardless of gender, status within the framework of the story, or otherwise are annoying and boring reads.

Curing the Disease

If Mary Sues are the disease, then what is the cure? The one-sentence solution is to balance your characters. Here are a couple methods I follow when I create any character -- hero to villain, male to female, main to supporting cast -- and mold them in such a way to avoid the dreadful consequences that come with the unwitting construction of a Mary Sue.

1. Keep track of the positive attributes you apply to your characters. Every character, regardless of status, should have "good" qualities -- these can show your character is ethical, is particularly skilled at a certain trade, or more. Maybe they have a soft spot for dogs or volunteer at a homeless shelter, or perhaps they're highly skilled at mathematics or archery. Everybody is good at something and/or is innately a good person; by giving a character a few positive qualities, you make them more believable.
2. Keep track of the negative attributes you apply to your characters. While everyone should have good qualities, nobody is perfect. To make a character believable, they should have weaknesses -- they can show your character is innately flawed, is clumsy or unskilled at a certain trade, or more. Perhaps they've killed a man or are schizophrenic, or maybe they can't read or are afraid of cameras. People have areas where they fall short and their written characters should be no exception.
3. Maintain a balance. This doesn't mean your characters have to be 50% "good" and 50% "bad." But always pay close attention to the traits that make your character good or bad or the things that they are good or bad at. A 40-60 split is okay, but anything beyond that can be a little iffy. Once you reach 30-70 territory, I suggest adding extra positive or negative attributes as the case may be to achieve the final balance you seek. These can be little things. Make them a good basket-weaver or deathly terrified of long words. Not only do these balance your characters, but they add a certain level of quirkiness that humans naturally have and you make them more believable.

Still having trouble deciding if your character is a Mary Sue or Gary Stu? Here's the source I use: The Mary Sue Litmus Test that's found on Ponyland Press. I've found it's pretty good to help you judge whether your character is too "Sue-ish" or at an appropriate balance of good and bad characteristics. I highly recommend it.

~ Dreamnorn

Self-Inserts in Fanfiction

It's perfectly fine for someone to write about themselves. It's also acceptable to use original characters (OCs) in fanfiction pieces. That being said, what exactly is so terrible about writing yourself into a fanfiction and being a character set in a favorite fictional universe? Self-insert writers, as they are called, receive a lot of hatred from their audience. Where does this hate come from?

People like to embellish themselves at times. In real published autobiographies, depending on tone, seeing things that are obviously fake can be interpreted as being either funny or arrogant (although most serious autobiography writers attempt to keep things honest). In self-insert fanfiction, the writers rarely play these embellishments for laughs. Authors will often imbue their self-inserts with phenomenal looks, near invincibility, and perhaps even "powers" beyond those of their peers. To add insult to this injury, they will attempt to pass the self-inserts off as original characters when they truly aren't. They evolve into Mary Sues.

I'll cover Mary Sues (and Gary Stus) and their characteristics more next week, but they are essentially characters who have no weaknesses or flaws in their universe. I say "in their universe" because, while the characters in-universe (perhaps reluctantly) accept that they're flawless, we can see that they're actually annoying, whiny, self-centered, melodramatic, and a lot of other unkind adjectives. The sad truth is that self-inserts often transform into the Mary Sues and Gary Stus of fiction.

While this is the biggest issue with self-inserts, even ones who are more true to the author's real traits can often fall into these literary "traps" that can only end in aggravation from their audiences. Therefore...

Self-Insert Situations to Avoid

1. Don't make them the main character. When people read fanfiction, they expect to follow the non-canon adventures of canon characters in a certain fandom. Even if you attempt to pass off a self-insert as an original character, it's easy to see through that. Besides, they couldn't care less what you would do if you were part of this universe.
2. Don't make them the love interest to a canon character. "Shipping," or romantically pairing two characters within a fandom together, is a terrifying force to reckon with. Your audience already has an idea of who they ship with whom and they tend to dislike rival ships, particularly those in which they can find no basis whatsoever (with the exception of crack pairings, which are meant to be funny). If you're serious about your self-insert being a love interest, you're in trouble. Even pairing yourself with a minor character can breed hatred.
3. Don't make them the main character AND the love interest to a canon character. That's literary suicide.
4. Don't make them be blood-related to a canon character in any way. This includes but is not limited to being a main character's child, parent, cousin, or sibling. I know how cool it is to imagine oneself being related to a total badass or hunk or whatever strikes your fancy, but for whatever reason it grates on people's nerves to see someone write themselves in as these characters' family members, so this is best avoided as well.

With all these common mistakes that turn self-inserts into grave warnings against reading an author's fanfiction, why would anyone write a self-insert fic? It can be hard to say what might compel a writer to create an entire fictional story around themselves and these characters in the situations mentioned above. Can self-insert fanfictions work at all? In most cases, they tend to scare away readers simply with the summary.

This does not mean self-insert must be avoided at all possible costs. There are multiple scenarios in which self-insertion can work well and invoke positive emotional responses from the readers. From my experience, these are the criteria under which they fall...

Self-Insert Situation Ideas

1. Don't make them the center of a long-running story. Self-inserts work best when they are placed in a situation where they can enter a story and exit just as easily. They should not be main characters by any means, but they are welcome to be minor (perhaps recurring) characters or even a character on a different timeline or universe parallel to the fanfiction.
2. Keep their appearances short. "Short" can be relative, depending on the kind of story, but never keep them in for more than one chapter at a time. An off-topic chapter about the author trying to keep their characters on-task might be funny as a comedy break for a more serious fanfiction. In a more comedic-oriented story, a self-insert could show for brief scenes to help or hinder the characters, remind them they're in a story, and generally serve as a source for fourth wall-breaking jokes. (Such as in this Fair-Haired Adventure Seekers fancomic for The Legend of Zelda.) This directly leads to...
   
3. Never take a self-insert seriously. It's already a funny idea to throw yourself into another character's universe to begin with -- why not roll with it? Of course, you're welcome to satirize a more serious tone with a self-insert, but actual seriousness makes you look like an amateurish fanfiction writer as opposed to a fanfiction writer who decided to throw in an extra joke to lighten the mood or keep the story rolling. Along these lines, having a character threaten the author is an easy way to amuse your audience. Here's a famous example of this in action.
4. Stay true to your flaws. All good characters have flaws and, however briefly you may be a character in a fanfiction, you should have flaws too. Characters flaws are often pointed out (either subtly or plainly) and played with in stories for plot, and since you're making a self-insert, he or she should be no different. A lot of funny material can come from a character discovering an author's weakness or perhaps even blackmailing the self-insert.

Self-inserts can work. While I don't recommend them to be an actual plot device (unless your story is a comedy which breaks the fourth wall), they can work for side-plots involving the characters interacting with the writer who is in the story as the writer. They aren't necessarily in the story as much as they are a part of what creates the story, which is true -- you're the fanfiction author, you're the writer, and you're your own self-insert. Just be careful with this character, as it can be a lot like handling literary fire: if you stop being cautious for one second, you'll drop the torch and the entire fanfiction will go up in flames.

Next week for avoiding Mary Sues,

~ Dreamnorn

P.S.: Couldn't find a good picture for this one, but don't worry. There will be plenty of images for the next update.